The basic Aphor list and a sublist Aphor Charles Scamahorn 

1. The whole heart of pessimism is a man feasting on donut holes and complaining of hunger.

2. When the pessimist whimpers no, the optimist bellows yes!

3. Lifting a pessimist to optimism is like lifting water with a sieve.

4. Saying no to one opportunity will throw away a hundred.

5. The man who says something is impossible to get can probably go online and buy it used tomorrow.

6. Pessimists are happiest when convincing one another they are wrong.

7. Pessimists and optimists are like mushrooms; they pop up on rainy days.

8. There is no one cheaper than a pessimist at an amusement park.

9. It’s more fun working hard when you believe you will succeed than miserably working carelessly when you know you will fail.

10. Pessimism is a beautiful attitude if you want to be unhappy and chase away love.

11. A pessimist believes everyone is as pessimistic as he is, and he proves it every time he talks to anyone.

12. I used to be a depressed pessimist, but I decided to treat other people better, and now I feel happier and interested in lots of things.

13. The optimists have all the fun, and the pessimists all the anxiety.

14. This may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it’s the only one we’ve got, so it’s your choice to be optimistic or pessimistic.

15. If you’re a born pessimist, learn to take advantage of your greater perspicuity and make lots of money.

16. The pessimist rejects the good, bad, and indifferent qualities of living and clings to the bitterness.

17. The rational pessimist always has three ways of escape ready, even from success.

18. The Tick was a pessimist when he said, “Gravity is a cruel mistress,” but one can find ways to work with gravity; it’s time that’s cruel.

19. In most elections, it is choosing the lesser of two evils, but sometimes it’s choosing the one who is least likely to get us all killed.

20. The pessimist looks at problems and grovels, but the optimist looks at them and works on solutions.

21. How can one be a pessimist after sniffing, kissing, and sipping Glenfiddich?