The basic Aphor list and a sublist Aphor Charles Scamahorn 

1. Anger has an aspect of kindness because it informs you that something is essential and that you should look back and discover the causes.

2. When someone, including yourself, says or does something, ask yourself what need is fulfilled by those specific actions.

3. To be good at something like being kind requires practice, so watch for various opportunities to practice some particular skill, like kindness.

4. When you have an important goal, then the knowledge and skills you need become prominent, attractive, and easy to learn

5. Part of our evolved DNA gives us the ability to learn languages and a desire to share information about dangers and opportunities.

6. In every conversation, we must maintain an empathetic understanding of the thoughts and emotions of our interlocutors to respond well.

7. Emotions always trump rational thoughts, and we have trouble thinking and responding with reason when experiencing an emotion.

8. Anger is a punitive emotion seeking to overpower something that is not complying with our intentions.

9. Advice, even when given as a kind act, is challenging to receive.

10. A kindness isn’t an economic transaction, or a social one either, because we give it with no expectation of a reward, perhaps given secretly.

11. The words we use automatically compare people to the ideal implied in those words, but when we observe, it is easy to accept things as they are.

12. The approach of (Yes, and,) versus (No! But) affirms the other person, improves the feeling, and makes it easy to discuss creative ideas.

13. “Yes, and” statements make both parties in a conversation into coequal comrades in the discovery of new ideas.

14. Attempting to change another person’s settled ideas and behaviors is sure to cause conflicts and resentments.

15. I prove I am paying attention to whom I am speaking by affirming their statements and adding to their content.

16. We are all small parts of the vastly bigger world we live in, and there are many things to talk about where we are in perfect harmony.

17. We should avoid criticism of others, but when we cannot avoid criticism, we can sandwich the problem between agreeable statements

18. When people are angry with you, it means you are not discussing things in terms of mutual benefits, and you must mention those benefits.

19. You have significant control of your situation, and you are primarily in control of how you choose to recognize problems even when they are out of control.

20. Even though people speak of truth as an absolute, it reeks of arbitrary sub-parts, and our best hope is for a kindly older man’s truthiness.

21. Would it be unkind of us to ask Google if the universe exists, and if so, is it conscious, and is Google planning to make contact with it?

22. To communicate with people, you must be speaking about balancing your needs with theirs, or else you will soon come into conflict.

23. Children have an instinct to give kindness to people and dogs that can we can cultivate as the basis of their adult personality.

24. Normal, healthy people want to help other people.

25. My goal is to help all humanity to live more vigorously physically and more contented emotionally, using their foresight and actions.

26. The goal of everyone’s religious commitment could help all humanity find contentment wherever they live.

27. A contented person is kind and has abandoned judgment, and gives what is needed most to everyone he meets.