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I have been using the source of these maxims as a point of departure into similar ideas. My goal is not truth or art but to stimulate ideas, good, bad, and unusual.

  1. Lay a golden egg and get out while they’re laughing.
  2. Gain with a lie, ruined in a lie, good as dead with a lie found out.
  3. An Oxford graduate without money is a well-informed beggar.
  4. The first step is the most fun, the last step is the most pleasurable.
  5. Give a dog a bad master and you will soon have a bad dog.
  6. When it comes time to pay the Devil, pay promptly, or suffer.
  7. Business with a thief is a one-way transaction.
  8. Give a bad boy a gun and he will soon get shot.
  9. Give last year’s clothing to the servants, and pearls to the daughter.
  10. A bait to start working and a payment when finished gets work done.
  11. There is such a blizzard of news we must look at the acts to know what’s what.
  12. When rich folks lose their money they are good as dead, but poor people can beg.
  13. Let daddy give you the house and car, and let me have his business.
  14. When the New World’s gold went to Europe, the price of dinner soared for everyone.
  15. Accept the golden egg and tidy up the goose’s nest for her return next year.
  16. Good and evil are concepts generated by living beings seeking food and safety.
  17. A boxer isn’t renowned for his gloves but for his use of them.
  18. Physical deeds are part of history, words vanish, written ones last a little longer
  19. Desired reactions must be instantly rewarded, and tossing the ball is a reward for a dog.
  20. A helpful friend is better than a friendly conversationalist.
  21. A productive garden may have many weeds.
  22. Good luck is sometimes better than perfect foresight.
  23. A perfect act sometimes flops.
  24. Go to rich old ladies’ funerals to find a rich wife.
  25. Positive words are as easily said as negative ones.
  26. Good deeds won’t make you happier, but they help.
  27. A perfectly poisoned pen will kill more people than a beautiful pistol.
  28. A bit of foresight can prevent a Titanic from killing a thousand people.
  29. Take no more and no less than what is appropriate.
  30. Kindness is a proof of gratitude, and ingratitude a proof of malice.
  31. A man of no thoughts will never be a saint.
  32. Braggarts without corroborating accomplishments have said it all.
  33. To achieve a long, healthy life, never self-medicate for pain with alcohol.
  34. Modern media creates many jagged mountains from invisible bumps.
  35. A psychopath with power generates tsunamis of misery.
  36. When the risks are existential, proceed with joyous enthusiasm.

Our minds are now stuffed fuller with tomfoolery.