Sage tip #115, Before you speak think kind thoughts.

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7 Sages of Greece, Love Your Life, Sage tip #115

I have done complete posts on several of the 147 tips from the Seven Sages of Greece. There is a booklet presently in progress titled Love Your Life which discusses various strategies for coping with life. The book is loosely based on those ancient tips, but those tips were at the foundation of Western Civilization and so they do have a record of stimulating success. They are mundane tips but they do convey common-sense to an uncommon degree.

Tip #115, Before you speak think kind thoughts. This is a simple idea but it is helpful in keeping conversations on a path for mutual satisfaction with your friends and in group conversations where there is always a problem with getting the conversational floor. Of course, we usually get involved with what is being discussed and we want to get our ideas infused into the flow of ideas. Typically there will be several people trying to talk at the same time and we are pulled in multiple directions as things progress.

At times when the conversation is bringing forth strong thoughts and emotions, it is important to maintain an appropriate demeanor. Conversations that have unusual and sharp distinctive points of view are the very ones where you can gain the most intellectual development. If everyone you encounter is in perfect agreement with you, there may be mild and friendly interactions but not much fun or personal growth. I attend some groups where there isn’t much agreement, but we usually have a good time exchanging ideas. We make an effort to make our conversations about ideas and try to avoid personal acrimony, and that is where the idea of maintaining kindly thoughts becomes important. When we remember that the other person has a huge backlog of experience that brings them to their worldview and their statements about that worldview are heartfelt and important to them, we should give them respect.

Of course, they are wrong. They are always wrong! Except it is we who are wrong because we are not seeing the depth of experience that is bringing them to their beliefs. If we did see as they see we would be in agreement with them. Of course, that is impossible because we must come to the moment with our huge baggage of history and ingrained habits.

These thoughts could be amplified, but the point must return to the idea of treating others better than we treat ourselves. That means that we must step back just a little bit and give the other person the space they need to be themselves. When we do that tiny thing we are helping these other people to live their lives more fully. The cost to our person is minute and is actually a moment of personal growth when we are able to treat others better than we treat our own self. To gain the benefits of this course of action …

Before you speak think kind thoughts.

Sage tip #28, Respect everyone’s point of view.

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Seven Sages of Greece, Tips

The 147 suggestions attributed to the Seven Sages of Ancient Greece are so brief that it seems better to call them tips, so I have been using that word the last few days. It feels like a better word because it isn’t so demanding. Tips sound more like an idea which you might think about for a while and consider using in your daily life, and that sounds about right for what is intended.

Tip #28, Respect everyone’s point of view, seems like a mild enough tip, and yet when one pays attention to what other people say and do it becomes challenging to actually feel respectful. The difficulty arises because people want the world to be a place that caters to their fondest wishes regardless of reality. And, if the present world can’t or won’t live up to those expectations, then these same people easily fall prey to some colorful guru who promises them a lovely fantasy that will deliver their beautiful heaven in some not too distant time.

Saint Augustine stated this lust for wish fulfillment most eloquently about the year 400 AD. “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”  With that concept exploited by charlatans, it becomes possible to convince people of any unknowable and untestable assertion. Propose a beautiful fantasy as an attainable reality, and state it with enthusiasm and conviction, coupled with some fancy physical decorations; and a charlatan’s postulation is halfway to being an honored movement.

A big problem arises for a critical observer because it appears that “everyone” has chosen to believe things which are unknowable and untestable. We are all ready, willing and even eager participants in personal self-delusion. We are all pitiful creatures caught in webs of our own self-delusion, and the best we can do is to respect everyone else’s point of view.

We need habits which protect us from ourselves.

Sage tip # 129, Treat yourself with respect and kindness.

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7 Sages of Greece, Contentment, Diary, Epigrams, habits, happiness, Health, inventions, policy, survival, Treat yourself with respect and kindness.

There is much to be said for taking care of one’s self first and then when you have that well secured to use your excess of caring to take care of other’s well being.

A totally self-centered worldview is all that there is for an infant and they are not developed enough to be aware that they even exist outside of their annoying and pleasurable sensations. As a child matures at some point it becomes aware that others exist as separate beings and that to some degree they too must claim rights to maintain their wellbeing. Putting one’s self first is still a reasonable worldview for an adolescent because so much of their real-world interaction is outside of their personal control. This self-centered treatment still makes sense as an operating principle for adults who are making their way in a world which requires their creating and caring for their family. The self-care they previously needed for themselves alone is now transferring to some degree over to their family which is being considered as their extended self. Those people close to them have become part of their self-concept and thus treating those dependents well and supporting their life quests is in a real sense supporting their own life.

Moving on in physical and emotional maturity there comes a time when treating yourself with respect and kindness includes not only your family, and friends, but extends to your whole world. It includes all the people of the world, and the future people too, and thus it includes caring for the whole Earth because that soon becomes one’s self.

Treating one’s self with respect and kindness eventually becomes identical with treating the whole world with respect and kindness. 

Sage tip # 15, Empower your friends to do good deeds.

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Doing unto others, Empower humanity, Empowering others, Seven Sages of Greece, Treat others better than you treat yourself.

The 147 suggestions attributed to the Seven Sages of Ancient Greece are so brief and so ancient, and so much from an alien culture that they must be interpreted to have a cogent meaning to a modern seeker of a proper relationship with their personal life. Tip #15 – Empower your friends to do good deeds – is in agreement with my latest reach into providing workable methods for creating a better world for oneself, for one’s species, and for all life. In brief that develops from the mild Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Which progresses to a stronger statement, King James Version, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you: do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” The more demanding word is should which means that you should help others to live and to live more abundantly.

That moves the sought-for goal of improvement beyond the level already achieved by the follower of the weak form. That level only recommends treating people in a way that is comfortable at one’s present level of personal moral development. The stronger form challenges a person to reach beyond their present level. It makes that suggestion in an abstract way and leaves up to the person practicing that idea to make up their own mind how their actions might be applicable to that word should.

When discussing this problem with my friends I have responded several times to the ancient challenge of stating the essence of one’s religion while standing on one foot. Tuesday I stood on one foot in front of thirty people and immediately toppled over. I was wearing Crocs, a very thick-spongy-soled style shoe, and was having so much trouble balancing that a friend immediately came to my rescue and provided a shoulder for support. Whereupon, I said, “Treat others better than you treat yourself.” Everyone had a good laugh.

I wish that event was an example of, “Empowering your friends to do good deeds” because she certainly did one for me, but I hadn’t toppled intentionally so any empowering that occurred was accidental and not a spontaneous action on my part. For a habit to have become effectively part of one’s personality it must be triggered automatically by the situation, like a reflex, only a learned response. That didn’t happen in this example.

It was relatively easy to mentally practice holding out one’s hand toward a pile of grocery store candy to fend it off, but empowering friends to do good deeds requires a spontaneous situation where that other person’s opportunities are seen and a situation brought into being where they can perform some spontaneous good deed. Hmm, this will require some new kind of mental practice to develop the habit. Earlier today I did demonstrate to some friends how to create a habit, and over the course of an hour made that habit spontaneous when an unanticipated prompt happened.

A beginning for training to empowering others is setting up easy tasks before kids arrive.

Sage tip #105, Protect your friend’s life as your own life.

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Defend your friends, Defend your self

The 147 suggestions attributed to the Seven Sages of Greece were published about the year 570 BC. That means about 550 years before Jesus gave his sermons. I have been rendering those sage suggestions into a slightly expanded modern English wording and calling them tips because that term doesn’t generate the negative reactions that God-given commandments tend to do. Even the term suggestions has a pejorative feel, so I have been using the term tips. Thus in the book Love Your Life, Sage tip #105 is currently rendered Protect your friend’s life as your own life.

When it is stated in that way the idea feels like Jesus’s Great Commandment spoken in King James Version of Matthew 22:37-40.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

The Sages’ statement “Protect your friend’s life as your own life” (570 BC) is very similar to Jesus’ 27 AD saying, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” In both statements, the idea is to value and protect your friend’s wellbeing as carefully as you do your own wellbeing. 

That is a minimum concern we must have for our friends, and when we have the consciousness and the opportunity we should treat others better than we treat ourselves. This is a greater opportunity for personal growth than treating others the way you would wish to be treated. That weak form of the Universal Golden Rule doesn’t advance your spiritual growth; it only locks you into the level you have already reached. When you intend to treat others better than you treat yourself you must pay attention to their needs, and be aware of your needs too, and then intentionally sacrifice some part of your time, attention and other possessions to help that other person.

The reason for doing so personally expensive a thing is because that is the surest way to cultivate the habits of becoming a happier, healthier, wiser and wealthier person.

To protect your friend’s life as your own life teaches you how to protect your own life better.

Sage tip #133

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Life goals, Sage tip #133, Seven Sages of Greece, The meaning of life

It makes sense to comment on the Seven Sages of Ancient Greece suggestions from the Oracle at Delphi published on stone stelae about 570 BC because they were in a profound way the foundation of our Western Civilization. They were widely published and thus the Greek-speaking people learned how to read and write their language. They were the first common people of the world to ever have that opportunity. Fortunately, the Sages chose to publish something that could be easily learned in small dollops of wisdom. Mostly they were word pairs in the form of common-sense suggestions for proper ways to behave. Earlier Hammurabi had published harsh laws on stones that were placed about his kingdom with proscriptive demands coupled with terrible punishments for failure to obey his laws.

The Sages’ ideas were more like moral ideals that ordinary people could think about and apply to their daily lives. They were not coupled with cruel physical punishments like Hammurabi’s laws, but with positive personal rewards. The rewards were in this world and were similar to a karmic feedback for behaving well, but the benefits are to come to the person in this life and in a tangible way. These ideals must have worked well because over the next couple of centuries Greece flourished from a remote rocky peninsula to the intellectual source of the world for the next two millennia.

The Seven Sages of Greece tip #133 is a good example of why these ideas helped these early Indo-European People (PIE) become so well organized and powerful. #133 states “Use your life as an opportunity for good deeds.” Many people throughout history have wondered about the meaning of life in general and their lives in particular, and even to this day a common question is “What is the meaning of life?” Some say to serve the gods, some to serve the church, some to serve your government, some to serve your family and let the rest be damned, and some say to serve your self alone. That last one is very popular these days and many public people will say with a calm assurance that “Greed is good!” They claim that idea, first proclaimed by Adam Smith in 1776 in his book The Wealth of Nations, is the foundation of humanity’s super success at dominating the world. Their proof of success is that the population of humans has grown from less than a billion to almost eight billion people.

I would rather live in a world where people’s life goal was:

Use your life as an opportunity for good deeds.

The Blue Zones 2nd edition, 9 Lessons for Living Longer by Dan Buettner, Lesson #9

RIGHT TRIBE – Be surrounded by those who share Blue Zone values

To get moving in your Blue Zone, try some of my replacement comments on Dan Buettner’s tips.

Identify your inner circle.

Google search: “According to a 2021 survey, 12% of American adults have no close friends. This is up from 3% in the 1990s. The 2021 survey also found that 27% of millennials have no close friends, and 22% have no friends at all.”

That is an American tragedy! What is even worse is that younger people are not developing friendships. When walking downtown, I see some younger people actively try to ignore other people by listening to their earbuds.

People tend to meet others:

• In high school (87%) or college (70%)
• Through work (75%)
• Through neighborhood (61%)
• Through church or spiritual community (44%)
• Informally (started talking at a park or café) (38%)
• Through children (playgroup, children’s sports) (38%)
• Through sports or fitness activity (33%)

The COVID-19 pandemic’s impact on young people’s social isolation was one of the problems. Unfortunately, a new problem is coming this year in the form of fake information surrounding the elections from what was formerly coming from trusted media. That will make it difficult for anyone to tell the truth from falsehoods, and because friendship is based on truth, there will be a lack of trust. The fake information will probably cause waves of social chaos that will interfere with young adults’ perceptions of reality.

Be likable.

I ask ChatGPT

How does a person become likable?

Becoming likable involves a combination of behaviors, attitudes, and interpersonal skills that are generally appreciated and valued in social interactions. Here are some key factors that can contribute to being perceived as likable:

1. Empathy and Understanding: Show genuine interest in others and their experiences. Try to understand their feelings and perspectives. Empathy builds strong, relatable connections.
2. Positive Attitude: A positive and optimistic attitude is often contagious. People are generally drawn to individuals with a positive outlook on life and can uplift others.
3. Good Listening Skills: Active listening shows you value what the other person says. It involves hearing the words and understanding the underlying emotions and intentions.
4. Authenticity: Be yourself. Authenticity builds trust, and people are more likely to be drawn to someone who is genuine and sincere.
5. Respectfulness: Respecting others’ opinions, time, and boundaries is crucial. Respectful behavior demonstrates maturity and consideration.
6. Humor: Good humor can lighten conversations and make interactions more enjoyable. However, it’s essential to be mindful of the type of humor used and ensure it is appropriate for the situation.
7. Good Communication Skills: Clear and effective communication helps in expressing thoughts and ideas in a way that is easy to understand. This includes both verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
8. Kindness and Generosity: Acts of kindness and a generous attitude can significantly impact how likable you are. Small acts of kindness often leave lasting impressions.
9. Confidence: Confidence, without being arrogant, can be attractive. It shows that you are comfortable with yourself and your abilities.
10. Reliability and Integrity: Being someone others can count on and displaying integrity in your actions builds trust and admiration.

It’s important to remember that likability is subjective and can vary based on cultural, social, and personal preferences. What is likable to one person may not be to another. Additionally, these qualities should be cultivated genuinely rather than as a means to an end, as people often can sense when someone is being inauthentic or manipulative.

Create time together.

In the Blue Zones, people spent most of their time engaged in social situations like cooking, eating, and just having pleasant conversations. In modern America, this doesn’t seem to be happening with many people, and therefore, these people will probably not achieve the long and happy lives analyzed and described in this book.

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My study of Buettner’s Blue Zones book didn’t go where I hoped and intended. It showed the path to a long and happy way of living, but it inadvertently exposed that modern civilization is moving away from that path. David Sinclair’s Age Reversal Community is extending the health span, and that research is resulting in an increased life span, but the current social trend is shortening it.

The Blue Zones 2nd edition, 9 Lessons for Living Longer by Dan Buettner, Lesson #8

LOVED ONES FIRST – Make family a priority

To get moving in your Blue Zone, try some of my replacement comments on Dan Buettner’s tips.

I grew up spending half of my time for my first 25 years closely associated with my mother’s family. We lived the life that Buettner suggests; nearly every family living within a mile of me was a relative. I had every meal with my family and twice-yearly events with all the families getting together. Also, there were often events where we worked cooperatively on one another’s family farms. I almost became a farmer, but instead, I went to Berkeley and became an intellectual and coffee shop raconteur. My Berkeley life was perfect for me as an adult, but now I am 88 and living as a couple in residential Bend, Oregon. I do have social groups with good conversations, but it isn’t Berkeley! But from Buettner’s orientation, I don’t have the family life or extended social community he suggests. So, I will modify my comments to what would be more appropriate for a more typical modern American living alone or as a small nuclear family.

Get closer.

Live together, where most of your time is spent with your family, but where you also have a private place where you can be alone when you need some emotional space.

Establish rituals.

Establish at least one meal together with everyone present, which typically would be breakfast or the evening meal when everyone has returned from their day’s public adventures. If that isn’t possible, make a special meal once per week that everyone attends.

Create a family shrine.

Have a special family remembrance somewhere in the home, perhaps in your dining area, displaying things like photographs of your parents, grandparents, and other family members who are no longer with you but have been important. Perhaps a group photo of your relatives at some family gathering would be appropriate.

Put family first.

Intentionally put time and energy into your spouse and relationship by doing many ordinary things together and some special events.

The Blue Zones 2nd edition, 9 Lessons for Living Longer by Dan Buettner, Lesson #7

BELONG – Participate in a transcendent community

To get moving in your Blue Zone, try some of my replacement comments on Dan Buettner’s tips.

Be more involved.

Recognize that you have many unique qualities and are, therefore, a member of many special groups, which you can explore to get more involved with the meaning of your relationship with them.

Explore a new tradition.

Reach outside your recognized groups to discover and appreciate the alternate ways to live and enjoy the human experience.

Just go.

It helps lift your emotions if you have a purpose for your life that transcends your simple existence. So choose something worthwhile you are most comfortable doing, and do it.

The Blue Zones 2nd edition, 9 Lessons for Living Longer by Dan Buettner, Lesson #6

DOWNSHIFT – Take time to relieve stress

To get moving in your Blue Zone, try some of my replacement comments on Dan Buettner’s tips.

Reduce the noise. If something on your life journey isn’t fulfilling your ideal life, then it is clutter, and you should consider eliminating it from your behaviors.

Be early. Make it your habit to begin preparing for departures to totally cover all of the potential contingencies.

Meditate. Spend some quiet time alone every day, letting your mind observe itself, your emotions, and your body.