Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 35

Tags

Contentment, Coping with criticism, Tranquility

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 35

When you have decided a thing needs doing, and the time is right for doing it, go ahead and proceed to do the work. Don’t bother yourself with uninvolved people’s  suggestions as to how you might do it better, or of those condemning the quality of your workmanship. If you can’t do the job correctly don’t start it, but if it is within your abilities, do a competent job, and ignore those who disparage you.

COMMENTS

Last night the standup comic Louis C.K. was being interviewed by David Letterman, and Louis had just sold out three consecutive nights to an audience of some five thousand people, at New York’s Madison Square Garden. He was talking to Letterman about the problems of being a comic, and how even a terrifically successful one, such as himself, would still look out at the audience and see many people looking unimpressed and unhappy. That problem bothered him, and David too, but they had resigned themselves to enduring this negative feedback, and always proceeded with their shows. The problem, both of these successful comics admitted, was that it was difficult not to look at those emotional wet-blankets, and at the same time stay enthusiastic. This modern example gives support to what, at first reading, makes Epictetus’s suggestion about coping with criticism by ignoring the critics seem uncharacteristically harsh.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 34

Tags

Caution, Contentment, Pleasure, Regret, Satisfaction, Self Control, Tranquility

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 34

When a great pleasure becomes available to you, pause for a moment to consider your options. Project your mind to a time in the future, an hour, a day, a year, and consider two things; how you will feel about having accepted the pleasure, and how you will feel about having rejected it. The choice is yours, but which choice will bring you greater satisfaction with yourself at those future times? Which choice will enhance your habits for a more tranquil life, and build your character for coping with your future problems? At those future times will you condemn your self for your shortsighted actions, or take satisfaction at having been able to resist a great temptation. Sometimes, you will choose to accept the pleasures that come your way, but even then maintain some self control, so as not to be overcome with pleasures and become addicted to them. In your mind compare the momentary pleasures with the lasting ones of directing your own desires and life.

COMMENTS

As has been shown, by current scientific experiments, tempting five year old children with a single Marshmallow Test, or promising them two if they wait a short time. The ability to project their thoughts, and rewards into the future is highly correlated with their future success in life. That test is the modern science, but Epictetus carries this thought much further, and gives a method for learning and cultivating this ability and making it part of our habitual character. Paragraph 34 discusses our coping with pleasures, but this booklet has many other examples of coping with problems with the goal of a long and tranquil life.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 33

Tags

Contentment, Excess laughter, Idle conversation, Living modestly, Private behavior, Public behavior, Tranquility, Vulgarity

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 33

Right now give some thought as to how you will behave when alone, and how you will behave towards others when in public. Live and speak quietly when alone, and say only those things that add to a pleasant conversation when in public. Be quiet and polite when people are excitedly talking about sports, parties, drinking and comparing people’s behavior, by remaining agreeable and saying nothing either good or bad about anything or anyone. When with friends bring your part of the conversation to appropriate helpful subjects, and when with strangers remain respectful and quiet. Avoid raucous laughter and respond to humor with a smiling chuckle, and avoid harsh comments or swearing when unpleasant things happen. Avoid callous events, and be careful not to slip into others’ ugly behaviors, because if you spend time with callous people you will inadvertently take on their callous behaviors. Accept only what you need for things such as food, clothing, housing and eliminate those frivolous things that imply personal status or luxury. For carnal desires such as sex, maintain your courteous and appropriate behavior, but don’t complain about people who do weird things, or even mention that you aren’t interested. If you hear of rumors that people are saying unpleasant things about you, just say something offhand like, “They don’t know of my other problems, or they wouldn’t be talking about those silly things.” When the public is excited about public happenings, plays, or sporting events, limit your remarks to your personal well-being; because the past is fixed, be quietly in agreement with your new personal reality within that newly fixed situation. Refrain from laughing or complaining at anyone involved in those past events, and after you leave some spectacular event, limit your conversation to how it improved your life in some special way, so people would be aware of your camaraderie of being there, but not be upset by your opinions. When you attend public events and lectures be dignified and thoughtful, and avoid being disagreeable. When you are about to meet an important person, and have personal doubts about how to relate to them, think, “How would Socrates or Zeno behave?” So when you go to meet an important person, think before you get there, that you may be rebuffed, and the door will be closed to you. Only if your visit is important enough to endure those conditions, go there and endure the insults. Don’t worry about their offense, but remember that their behavior is their business, how you feel about it is yours, and continue on with your tranquil life. Also, remember that your life stories are not as interesting to others as they are to you, so keep them short. Avoid loud laughter, because it often becomes vulgar and needlessly offends other people, and then they may treat you badly. Avoid foul language and foul thoughts expressed by others by simply being bored with that kind of speech and thought, because it is nearly  impossible for anyone to talk to a bored person.

COMMENTS

This long paragraph discusses many little tricks for coping with common mildly difficult social situations. I recently discovered, in a controlled experiment, just how powerful simply expressing boredom can be to continuing a conversation. When a person becomes offensive with swearing or nasty thoughts, just change your attitude and they will automatically change their tone of address and the subject. Alternatively, paying rapt attention to someone who is behaving excessively, in any emotion or subject, encourages them to keep it up. It is usually counterproductive to argue with anyone about anything, especially if you think they should change their opinion to agree with yours. That just entrenches both of you to be more defensive and rigid. Conversation is mostly self-talk and about honing your own thoughts, and using the other people’s thoughts to help you understand your own self better and relate to the world more successfully.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 32

Tags

Contentment, Fortune telling, Predicting the future, Tranquility

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 32

When you go to a fortune-teller you must be aware what a speculative thing it is, and you should have exhausted all natural means for reaching a decision before throwing your future to the unknowable gods. The fortune given to you will not be up to your decision, and therefore it is not in control of your choosing to call it good or bad; it is uncaring and indifferent. Therefore as a stoic do not bring a preexisting desire or aversion to the Oracle, but a neutral attitude. You will react by simply proceeding along the path prescribed to you, just as if it were given by the laws of the Universe, and deal as best you can with what comes. Proceed with optimism and vigor, with the conviction that it is the gods themselves that are directing your journey, and do not disobey them. Approach unknowable crises as Socrates suggested, where there is something important that needs doing, and whatever we do must be done with conviction, even daring, because it is at those times you need an eager heart and total commitment. However, when you share a danger with a friend or with your country, your responsibilities are obvious and there is no decision to be made by you, because it is clear that you must defend them and yourself. If you consulted an oracle relative to those situations, and it was unfavorable, you would be in a quandary because reason would tell you to defend them, and the oracle would tell you to retreat. Your reasoning would win your mind, as it should, but your heart would waver and would put you and your friends at greater risk of failure. Remember the man who was violently cast out of the Delphi Oracle for asking if he should defend his brother, who was about to be murdered.

COMMENTS

This paragraph suggests how we might best cope with serious decisions where we have exhausted all means for coming to a reasonable decision. If we have a life-changing decision that must be made, and yet the various factors are so complex and confusing that we simply can’t tell what we should do, it makes sense to consult the Oracle. If we make a wavering decision and take one path, and there are difficulties, we will hesitate, and perhaps turn back and try some other path, and then turn back from that one too. It would be better to choose a single path and give that one our absolute best effort, and that is where the Oracle comes into play, because, if we are lucky, it will give us a clear decision coming from the gods. When we know that we have the powers of the Universe’s gods supporting us, we can proceed with utmost confidence and our chance of success is certain. We have no choice but to succeed.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 31

Tags

Achieving contentment, Achieving tranquility, Approaching pleasure, Avoiding pain, Enchiridion, Epictetus

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 31

It is important to have a proper piety toward society’s gods, its ideas of justice, and whatever it is that created our universe. These are entities that we exist within, and we have no choice but to acquiesce to their demands as ideal judgments of how things ought to be. The more willingly we accept these as fixed facts the easier it is for us to achieve tranquility. With these thoughts in mind you will never feel abandoned by reality or your society. Of course this submission is impossible unless you choose to renounce your judgment of them and their actions as morally good or bad. We must reserve our moral judgments for what is within our power to personally influence. When you judge things outside of your control as good or bad, you prepare yourself for failure, disappointment, pain, anger and hatred of those things when they don’t conform to your wishes. Every animal, man included, naturally moves away from things that are painful, and then anticipates and avoids what caused the pain, and he moves toward things that are pleasureful, and then anticipates and seeks what caused the pleasure. A man can not approach a thing that he thinks will cause him pain any more than he can approach the pain itself, and he can not avoid approaching a thing that he thinks will bring him pleasure any more than he can avoid the pleasure itself. Without these considerations in mind a son may abuse his father when the father doesn’t give him what he wants, and he hates his father for being a tyrant. Thus too, a farmer, sailor, merchant or widower may hate the world and its behavior and its laws when things are taken away, but when those people have good fortune they will show piety; but when such a man chooses to have desires and aversions he must also accept the responsibility of having pious duties and give customary libations, sacrifices and first-fruits in a pure and obedient way that is never slovenly, careless, or cheap.

COMMENTS

There is an obvious but subtle idea that Epictetus states, that our modern psychologists seem to have trouble stating clearly, and that is the natural avoidance of the anticipated source of pain as much as the pain itself. It is now thought of as a free-floating source of tension, sometimes called a neurosis, where a person has fears that are anticipatory of an actual experience. It is similar to the century-old Pavlov experiments with dogs salivating at a bell in anticipation of food, except in this case there are no external bells, only imagined inner ones, creating worries. But, Epictetus goes to the core of that problem and deals with a man’s relationship with functionally fixed realities, rather than treating symptoms, the internalized ringing bells. He states that when we recognize that nearly everything outside of ourselves is outside of our control, or even influence, that then we may relate to them as non-moral facts. Those things are simply what they are, and we are compelled to relate to them as they are, and not as we would wish them to be, and they are to be judged as being neither good nor bad. Every day the sun rises, and it’s then our community begins their daily activities, and even if we want to sleep we must adjust our routine to theirs. Many other things may not be conforming to our current whims, but when we accept them as a fixed fact beyond our influence, we can go about our business comfortably in alignment with them and thus retain our tranquility. Our tranquility is more easily maintained when we are content with the world, and we can be content with the world when we accept it as it is rather than as we might wish it to be.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 30

Tags

Brother, Companions, Contentment, Father, Personal relations

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 30

Our natural relationships with other people depend upon historical facts and personal status. You are naturally deferential to your father and mother, and accept poor treatment from them even if they physically abuse you. You might say, “He is a bad father, and I shouldn’t obey him!” But your natural station isn’t that you have a good father, only that you have a father, and must obey him. It is similar if your brother has mistreated you, and you must give him special consideration, because he is your brother, and adjust your behavior to this natural relationship. It is your choice how you interpret and internalize any person’s actions affecting you, and even your father or brother’s behavior can’t harm your core self. You are only harmed when you choose to believe that you are harmed. You may approach your neighbor, a citizen, or a president, and other people with these considerations of your relationship to them, and then you will know what to expect and how to adapt your actions to them.

COMMENTS

In this paragraph Epictetus deals with those people who have some special authority over us, and how we should anticipate the kinds of actions they will project towards us because of our preexisting relationship. The idea is that we should submit to some people’s authority because it is within the laws of nature to do so. The idea seems similar to his suggestion of being content with the past, because there is nothing you can do about it. The fact that some particular man is your father is a fixed event of the past, and that individuals must be subservient to their fathers is a natural law. Your life will be more tranquil when you accept these things as facts, and move on.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 29

Tags

Choice, Contentment, Forethought, Options for personal behavior, Tranquility

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 29

Use forethought in all of your actions, and be conscious of what precedes the actions and what are the expected results after your actions. If you naively charge enthusiastically into new occupations without any thoughts or preparations for the various outcomes, then when problems appear you will become discouraged and shamed. Say, for example, that you would like to win a medal at the Olympic games; I would too, for it is an honorable thing to do; but first consider the problems of preparing for such a thing, and then consider the remote likelihood of success. Think about those things before you commit to that risky occupation. To begin with you must endure months and perhaps years of grueling preparations, during which you must abstain from pleasures. You will work hard in the heat and cold, will go thirsty and hungry, and you must submit to a trainer who will treat you roughly and shame you to make you work to the limits of your abilities. You will endure all of these painful things before you even enter the stadium, and when in the contest you must totally commit yourself to absolute action, and thus to risk serious injuries, broken bones, dislocated joints, and often with all of those personal disasters endured still go down in defeat. Think about those probabilities before you consume your life training for such things. Not to use your forethought is to be pretending like a thoughtless child to be a gladiator, an orator, or a philosopher, because without forethought and preparations you can not do any of these things well enough to be successful. Consider what is demanded of people in these roles, what natural talents, what years of preparation, what unique opportunities for practice and economic support. Consider carefully, do you have what it takes? Do you wish to exchange tranquility, contentment, and freedom for stress, aggravation, and subjugation, for the opportunity to enter an arena and be humiliated and possibly killed? You must choose the role you are most capable of performing well, within the society you live within, and then play that role to the best of your ability. You can choose to cultivate your external abilities, or you can choose to cultivate your inner philosopher.

COMMENTS

In this paragraph we explore the difficulties of achieving a prominent station in life. There are costs and benefits and these can be thought about before we commit too much time, effort and money. Epictetus chooses an Olympic athlete for his example, and points to the tremendous difficulties and dangers of that pursuit, and the likelihood of failure. Then he mentions some other prominent occupations, and the risks associated with them too, but there is an out that is available to all people, and that is to become a Stoic. That is relatively easy to do once you are willing to abandon the wonderful things society pretends are available to you, if you submit to its demands. And yet at the end he makes it seem as difficult to become a Stoic philosopher as to be an Olympic contender, and yet again, elsewhere he claims it is easy to become a Stoic practitioner and live a tranquil life.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 28

Tags

Contentment, Options for personal behavior, Responding to angry people, Tranquility

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 28

If your employer gave away your body to the next random person who came along the road, you would feel misused, and yet you commonly give your emotions to the next random person you meet in daily life. If that person happens to yell abuse at you, and you get upset, haven’t you given him your most valued possessions, the command of your inner self and your tranquility?

COMMENTS

To maintain control of your inner self is your personal responsibility. The methods of the Stoic cultivate habits that will respond to events in a way that will quickly bring your emotions back to personal control and tranquility.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 27

Tags

Contentment, Tranquility, Universal design, World grandeur

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 27

Our world does not exist intending for us to miss out on opportunities; we exist within its non-moral grandeur of being perfectly what it is, and its permanent availability to us.

COMMENTS

This short paragraph states that nature is all-providing, and in that sense perfectly good to us. In nature’s vastness there are many things that will injure us and kill us if we do not relate to them in a proper way. The great sources of energy provided by nature can be put to our use, and we would call that good, or they can injure us and we would call that bad, but nature has neither of those moral judgments. It simply provides everything and we use its power for what we choose to define as good.

Epictetus – Enchiridion – A manual of Stoic living. Paragraph 26

Tags

Children, Contentment, Coping with death, Inevitable events, Tranquility

Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 26

We may learn from the random happenings to others and apply their experience to ourselves. For example, when a friend’s child breaks a cup it is easy for us to say, “That is in the nature of cups and of children.” When you realize that situation is true of you too, it is easy for you to say that same thing to yourself when a child breaks your cup. This way of approaching small matters may be used when confronted with big ones also, and when a friend’s wife or child dies we may say to ourselves, “To live is to risk death at every moment, and we all  die eventually.” Of course when one’s own wife or child dies, we will immediately feel, “I am sorrowful and suffering.” But soon we should remember ourselves and let our feelings be as when it happened to our friend, in the past.

COMMENTS

Sometimes Epictetus’ Stoic methods seem distant, even unfeeling, but if the goal is to maintain our personal tranquility, and contentment with the world, his suggestions are a way of achieving it. We can not prevent the death of our friends, or relatives or children, or other disasters, but we can choose how we respond to those inevitable events. Some people go into a lifelong despondency when such events happen to them, that ruins the remainder of their lives; but that isn’t a pleasant life, and one practiced in the Stoic way of life can cope with all of these difficulties and live in tranquility. Remember, how we want to live is our choice.