Love Your Life – diary

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Evolution of an idea, Love Your Life diary thoughts

My “Love Your Life” book is still in an evolutionary flux. I created a beautiful cover, 58 saves so far, and the first few pages of spreads that looked great and were proofread to be correct. I was happy with every one of them while making up the final-looking presentation for my critics but after I had shown a finished copy to them for review, I saw obvious things that need reworking. Each of the presentations looked better on the bookstore shelf than any book there, at least to my eye. My goals are a little different because this book is being designed to reach millions of people. It must, therefore, be distinctive and easily remembered.

When I put it on the bookstore wall with hundreds of other books facing out, this one is more visible and visually memorable. When it is lying on a coffee-shop table, it begs for a passerby to ask about the owner’s progress with the program. When it is opened to any two-page spread it presents a problem in a clear and positive way on the left-side page and a way of coping with that problem on the right-side page.

There are challenges in describing problems in a positive way, and writing in negative terms may sound stronger but it forms a bad mood for presenting the new positive way of coping. Probably every problem has positive qualities about it and when the negative aspects are discussed it brings out the combativeness in the reader. That might be a successful approach when making a movie because it stimulates emotions,  but it seems to be counterproductive when writing a book intended to help billions of people with actual problems.

I am intending to be kinder to other people than I am to myself. That intention doesn’t always maintain its prominence in my actions when I am distracted by the natural flow of things. But, when writing a book and having it critiqued by several friends, there is enough time and the opportunity to stand back and be more in control of myself and my reactions. When a person frowns or stumbles while reading a word in the text, I pay close attention and try, with them, to figure out what it was at the core of their problem.

It is said that successful products are the result of market testing and it would appear that is what I am doing by showing this book to different people. Artists generally dislike showing unfinished works to people, but in this case the process has helped me get the core ideas that will be beneficial to the readers.

Evolution is a messy process, but it continues to make things that work.

What is an ideal BMI (Body Mass Index)?

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BMI and age, BMI and height, body mass index, The ideal BMI

..BMI … 23.41 … 25
Height
4’6″  …  97.1 … 103.7
4’7″  … 100.7 … 107.6
4’8″  … 104.4 … 111.5
4’9″  … 108.2 … 115.6
4’10” … 112.0 … 119.7
4’11” … 115.8 … 123.8
5’0″  … 119.9 … 128.0
5’1″  … 123.9 … 132.3
5’2″  … 128.0 … 136.7
5’3″  … 132.2 … 141.2
5’4″  … 136.4 … 145.6
5’5″  … 140.7 … 150.3
5’6″  … 145.1 … 155.0
5’7″  … 149.5 … 159.7
5’8″  … 154.0 … 165.0
5’9″  … 158.5 … 164.5
5’10” … 163.2 … 174.3
5’11” … 167.9 … 179.3
6’0″  … 172.6 … 184.4
6’1″  … 177.5 … 189.5
6’2″  … 182.3 … 194.8
6’3″  … 187.3 … 200.0
6’4″  … 192.4 … 205.4
6’5″  … 197.4 … 210.9
6’6″  … 202.6 … 216.4

The BMI (Body Mass Index) isn’t a very good measure of life expectancy but it is the only scientifically tracked method at present. Even with that data available, there isn’t much agreement on what an ideal BMI should be. The official literature says that we as individuals should strive to be below BMI 25 but just how much below isn’t clearly defined. Another obvious question is at what age is the supposed below 25 recommendation applicable? Is life expectancy of a twenty-five-year-old best at BMI 30 or is that a good BMI for an eighty-year-old?
What about height and BMI relationship to life expectancy at various ages? Furthermore, does the data derived from white males near the average height of five foot nine inches have any validity for those at five feet three inches or six feet three inches? Probably those BMI figures are meaningless for seeking an ideal BMI at those modest differences of height, gender, race, and national location.
I hesitate to say my taking the time to calculate the height to weight BMI, seen above, to a high precision was meaningless, but I was seeking an ideal body weight for myself.
What is the ideal BMI/body weight for an eighty-two-year-old white American male who once was five foot nine but is now five foot eight? Do I use my youthful height or my geriatric height for the calculation? When a male is young there are far greater threats to his existence than a point or two on his BMI but at age eighty-two I presently have excellent blood pressure, and so with good basic life expectancy, it makes sense to adjust my weight to the ideal.
My weight this morning was 166.6 which is slightly above the CDC recommendation of below BMI 25 because by my calculation above I must be below 165.0. I have been doing the daily intermittent-fasting technique for seven months and have consistently lost two pounds per month. At that rate, I can go on down to 154.0 in six months. But, should I? That weight is based on the BMI of 23.41 which was the statistically derived bottom of a life expectancy curve. The curve is almost flat for several pounds at that BMI level but how was that data created?
Getting the BMI on a large number of eighty-two-year-olds and following them until their deaths would give a reasonable estimate. That information is probably derivable from existing data banks because the Veterans Administration has been routinely taking height and weight on their patients for years. They would have accurate BMI data and death statistics.
There must be a personal ideal weight for every individual.

Life is easy if you do the right things.

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Alcoholism ended, Opioid epidemic ended, The Good Life is easy

Washington Post today had an article on alcoholism based on a study in JAMA Psychiatry. (Published online August 9, 2017. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2017.2161). It is a sad report on the rapid increase in alcoholism in the United States. I find this to be a very sad report because the causes of alcoholism were shown in the Grant Study of the Harvard students of the late 1930s followed to the present. It would not be as serious a problem if the public was simply given the widely available information of what to do and what to avoid. It is a called a disease because it has an effect on the body and mind, but it is a very slow disease to acquire.

What has been published and promoted is that people with strong loving parents and loving social relationships in their adult lives live happier, healthier, wiser, and wealthier lives. That information was recently published in the Harvard Gazette, and it would appear to be blazingly obvious. The problem with publishing that Pollyanna information is that it doesn’t confront in a helpful way the agonizing social problems facing most people.

One of the major findings of the Grant Study was that alcoholism takes several years, generally over a decade, to become chronic and severe to the point of seriously interfering with a user’s life. Drinking for pleasure doesn’t lead to alcoholism because after a couple of drinks another one doesn’t lead to more pleasure and numbs the social interaction and so the person stops drinking.

What does lead to alcoholism is drinking to suppress anxiety and pain, and that numbing effect doesn’t come until several more drinks have been consumed. Furthermore, the drinks don’t solve the problems; they only numb the feelings resulting from the problems, which continue and grow worse. That requires more drinking, leading to a general worsening of the problems, which requires more drinking. If these simple facts were clearly stated and promoted to college-age drinkers many of them would avoid drinking for momentary relief and long-term failure. I have promoted the slogan that if it were common knowledge would save many lives:

Drink for pleasure not for pain.

I suspect the same line of reasoning would apply to the current opioid epidemic.

Take drugs for pleasure, not for pain.

When the drugs are no longer giving pleasure, stop taking them.

I’m not a perfectionist but I like some things to be right.

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I'm not a perfectionist but, The struggle continues

I’m not a perfectionist but do I want my book Love Your Life to be right! It is important that it be right if it is going to reach the audience it must reach if it is to help them to cope with their problems. I have spent a lot of time on the cover and the first few pages because it is important to find the right tone. The book is intended to give some ideas on how to cope with a problem and then give some workable suggestions. The thrust is about previewing a problem from a safe distance where one can practice the coping methods and have some success with creating a workable habit before confronting the real problem. This isn’t new and I doubt if anything in this book will be new, but it is intended to put a way of doing the necessary actions into practice.

I have attended a lot of group discussions on various human problems and it seems most people have a basic understanding of what they want to do and give examples of what they do to accomplish these ordinary things. It all seems so reasonable and logical and doable, and then you look at the results of their efforts and see a considerable contradiction and obvious shortfall. I hesitate to say failure but the level of success, when compared to the powerful-sounding convictions of the rhetoric, is pitiful.

I don’t condemn these people for their shortfall, nor do I pity them; I just attempt to observe the reality of their situation and try to find a workable solution and present my idea of a solution in such a way that it can at least be understood and tried. It is an attempt to —

Treat others better than I treat myself.

 

What our emotions are really saying about what’s happening.

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Emotions of the moment

The conversation this morning was about emotions. Where do they come from, what do they mean, what do they tell us, how do we control them, and should we even attempt to control them. Several of the participants are or have been professional people helpers of one sort or another so the conversation proceeded with some degree of profundity. It was generally agreed that the emotion of fear locks people into a narrower band of usually defensive and hostile responses and that the emotions associated with love bring on more open and mutually constructive actions. It was also said that these emotions were coming from within the person and their bundles of past experiences which influenced how individuals responded to the situations confronting them. A stoic would agree with these statements so far but would continue that the responsibility of the individual ends with their ability to influence the situation. If they have no influence they have no responsibility and must only control their emotions and their internal responses to the ongoing situation.

Perhaps an emotion isn’t what our conscious mind is thinking and feeling, but rather what that vastly larger entity our subconscious mind is “thinking.” It seems appropriate to put the word thinking in quotes because it would appear that our subconscious mind isn’t really thinking, it is a summing up and flowing together of everything that seems relevant to the moment. That probably is a vast array of subconscious habits. That is, habits that are never seen in the form of external behaviors but nonetheless interact with the multitude of other subconscious habits and create a unified action. There must be a technical term for what so obviously must be happening within the brain. If the brain is doing anything, which obviously it is, then there must be large numbers of routines and subroutines interacting with one another.

When an emotion percolates to the fore as a felt thing, it must be coming from an interaction of all these inner things. However, there are probably compelling habits that underlie emotions of fear and the other basic emotions.

The emotions focus our attention on what is important at the moment.

Another day, another page of Love Your Life

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Love Your Life diary thoughts, Where do we go from here?, Your existential needs.

I’m getting a better grip on what my new book “Love Your Life” must do to reach a billion people. My friends say I’m setting myself up for a big disappointment if that’s my goal. A best seller may reach a million people, but what I’m aiming at is a thousand times bigger and that’s obviously impossible. Although it may be impossible in the practical sense for an old guy in a remote little town, it is essential for the health of humanity. It is obvious to everyone who thinks about the human situation that something must be done immediately because it is impossible for any living species to consume vastly more than its base is able to produce sustainably.

“Love Your Life” isn’t about my wants, it’s about your existential needs.

 

Learn how to be happy and healthy when young.

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Avoid angry old drunks, Avoid angry young people, Learn to be happy, Learn to be healthy

Yesterday, in Epigrams about Health, I wrote, “To maximize a long, happy, healthy life, learn how to be happy and healthy when young.” That seems like a sensible bit of advice, and most people would probably claim they are following the path. They would claim they rarely do anything that would imperil their health or sanity, and yet when I listen to older people talking about their lives, which I do quite often, they often mention the risky things they did when young. Usually, these stories are told within a setting of mild hilarity and are accompanied with statements that they wouldn’t do that again. And yet, when they tell their current problems as anecdotes they seem to be following the same general life strategy. They talk about the problem people they encountered as youths and then talk about the problems they are having with the people they now associate with.

I see a pattern in their actions when they were young being repeated in their old age, but it appears they don’t see it. What can I say? What can I say that would be heard by them? More importantly, what can I say that younger people would hear and act upon?

Find and interact with happy old people and avoid angry old drunks.

 

A hot day in Bend, Oregon, isn’t a problem for us.

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Computer problems are annoying, Conversations about dreams, Hot weather fended off.

The temperature was in the upper 90°s F today, but it wasn’t a problem for me. I have an indoor garage for my Subaru Outback so it was comfortable to drive and it has air conditioning so it stayed cool. I parked in the downtown concrete parking structure so it was surrounded by cool concrete until I went home at noon. The two block walk to Dudley’s bookstore was through the structure and then an air-conditioned building and then half a block in sun-shadow. Only when crossing the street was I exposed to direct sun and outside temperature. I have been wearing my fleece jacket while inside of the car which means it was comfortably cool while I was walking. People thought I was crazy to be wearing a cool weather coat and they said so, but I responded that the jacket stays cool for a couple of minutes. Therefore, I am comfortable while they are heating up by being exposed to the sun and hot air. Once I am inside an air-conditioned building again, the jacket helps moderate the chilly wind that is blowing from the forced-air cooling system. So, who’s crazy?

The conversation that was going on was about dreams and almost everyone was eager to talk about their personal experiences. I haven’t been dreaming much lately and generally fall asleep while Debbie is reading to me. When I get up to pee, usually once, I fall asleep within a few seconds of getting back into bed. That has been observed by doing things like counting and observing the number I remember counting too. I count slowly, about one number per second, and rarely remember getting past thirty. Some of the folks were keeping dream journals and were having what to them were interesting events. I may be a bore, but these things don’t relate to my thoughts and experiences very tightly. When I am challenged to be creative in that sense what generally happens to my mind can be read in another group I participate in called Clockwork Purple. That is based on very random sentences selected out of random books. One person picks a page unseen, another picks a line, and another reads the sentence. We all copy that sentence down and write a forty-five-minute story around that quoted sentence. We now have copies in hand of our first book. It’s named Clockwork Purple. I just checked and it’s now available at Amazon.com.

I have been struggling with my new book and with my computer-printer interface. It is very annoying trying to do creative editing and having one’s electronics insist on doing something unexpected. I had to go many drop-screens down into Windows settings to find the problem. That plus shutting everything down and rebooting several times. I now have workarounds that are working.

Life needs some problems to be interesting, but computer problems are just annoying.

Walking the labyrinth barefooted.

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My very painful memory, Quietly walking the UU labyrinth, The end of WWII, Walking on sharp stones

Today I was taking two nice stones down to the labyrinth and found an appropriate place to place them when a guy I had only seen at the UU appeared at the entrance to the labyrinth and took off his shoes. It’s usually a quiet walk for me and whoever happens to be walking at the same time. But walking the labyrinth barefooted on large angular gravel stones had to be painful and when I passed near this super-stoic I had to start a conversation.

One of the most memorable events in my life was walking on stones the hour that World War Two ended. I was on the family farm near Wilder, Idaho, when the announcement was made on the radio. At that time I was still nine years old and ran barefoot nearly all the time, except when in school. My best friend at that time was Thomas Yost who lived a couple of hundred yards up the gravel road, to the right in the photo below. We would play together often and would walk that stretch of road routinely in our bare feet to get together.

The farm as seen looking west from the windmill at +43.6315 -116.9005

The minute the announcement came on the radio, the only person in our house was my grandmother, so we talked about the news for a minute and then I headed out to tell Thomas. It was so important that I was running as fast as I could go up the gravel road. I normally walked and would step on the relatively clear places between the larger gravel stones but this time I was in a great hurry and so I was running. The problem was that I couldn’t judge where my foot was going to land quickly enough and so several times landed on a large angular stone. Ouch, that really hurt. After several of these painful events, I decided to walk more normally, but hurriedly. This whole event couldn’t have lasted more than a minute or two, but it was so painful I remember it clearly seventy-two years later. As it turned out Thomas had his radio turned on and so he had already heard the news.

Back at the labyrinth I related this story to the barefoot walker and commented on the fact that I probably weighed about sixty-five pounds back then. The labyrinth walker was quite large and he said he weighed about two-hundred-seventy-five pounds. The area of the feet goes up by the square and bodily weight goes up by the cube so the load per square inch was much greater and therefore the pain must have been much greater.

It is beyond me how he could endure the pain of walking on those angular rocks.

Choose your problems and your friends wisely.

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Avoid unnecessary risks, Chose your problems wisely

It’s the problems we encounter that make life interesting. If our problems are too small or too big we are not happy. When they are too small we are bored and when they are too big we are overwhelmed. During the course of our life, our day or our current minute we can, to some degree, choose the problem we will put our attention upon. Our habits that we have self-created will have a major influence on what we choose to do and therefore we should use our optional moments of self-observation to consider what is the best action at the moment.

If we choose to hang out all evening at a rowdy bar we will be cultivating the qualities of those kinds of people and become rowdier ourselves and with a string of temporary relationships become isolated. If we choose to sit at home alone and drink alcohol, eat chips and watch depressing movies we will be cultivating the qualities of an obese alcoholic. It may take a decade or two to make it to the gutter but the 80-year-long Harvard Grant study demonstrated that was the predictable outcome. A TED talk says that developing long-lasting healthy relationships with other people is the key to happiness and longevity. That is obvious, but many people fail to do that simple thing. Also, treating your body and mind as if you are going to be using them for many years makes it more likely that you will have the opportunity to use them for many years. Some common activities are charted for their riskiness and motorcycle riding is 30 times riskier than driving a car, but climbing at 8,000 meters in the Himalayas is 16,000 times riskier per day than driving. However, motor vehicles, alcohol, smoking, surgery, and electricity are riskier than most people expect so it makes sense to minimize exposure to those activities.

Hiking with friends is more life-enhancing than mountain climbing.