There is a tendency when entering into a conversation for me to answer the question the other person states with a direct answer. To me, this seems like a reasonable thing to do, but it doesn’t work out as well for the other person as they would like it too because I tend to actually answer their question. Typically a person will begin with some form of “Hello.” to which I reply with some form of “Hello.” That’s okay so far, but they will typically say something like, “How are you?”
Unfortunately, that sometimes begins a disquisition on that subject. “I never really thought about it. Hmm? I feel pretty good today; it’s been two weeks since that cold began. I started my cold cure a little late, and so the cold got an overnight head start. It was obviously a cold when I got up. My question was where are the Tamiflu tablets? I found them in a minute, but the expiration date was 2014. Should I take them? An article I once read said that pills are okay long past their expiration date, except for diabetes pills, if they had been stored at cool room temperatures. These had been intentionally stored in an internal room in an internal closet that was probably the coolest place in my house on summer days. Anyway, I took the Tamiflu tablets for the next two days. You know the research says that after you have a temperature from the flu they are actually counterproductive. They must be taken on the first and second day to be effective. Also, I began my twice-a-day hot bath regime to stimulate my body’s flu-fighting processes. So, I raised my temperature to 101 degrees twice a day with 106-degree baths. After the third day, I just took one hot bath because the flu seemed to be suppressed and I wasn’t noticeably sick. Only that first day was I sick enough that anyone would have noticed, and I told my old buddies that I might be catching a cold and stayed well back from them when talking. It was about the third day that I got out in my garden and started doing really hard physical labor for a couple of hours each day. I was clearing out everything flammable from around my house. Did you see what happened to Paradise, California? Check out the before and after pictures. It looks just like Bend, with all the Ponderosa trees. Oh. … How are you?”
Do you see my problem? A simple question leads to a disquisition that probably feels like the proverbial Inquisition of Medieval times. Most people interrupt me after the first sentence and I am good about shutting up if anyone interrupts me.
My resolution—it can’t be a New Year’s Resolution any more because it’s almost February—but my resolution should be and can be … I will seek to understand you! Just saying I will listen more and talk less doesn’t work because if you just happen to say something interesting I will drop off into an Inquisition-like disquisition.
However, if I have in my mind that I will seek to understand you, then there is a possibility that I could control my tendency to offer my truths and listen to you instead. Trying to understand anyone is difficult because they are made up of a multitude of conflicting habits constructed out of years of responses to complex situations generated by conflicts with partially understood interactions with people who are themselves coming from a poorly understood miasma of partially misunderstood largely confused complex social situations.
There is so much confusion in the sanest of us and so much good sense in the craziest of us that our best option is always be kind to everyone.
Probaway - Life Hacks 