Miracles Happen by Brian L. Weiss, MD
Unseen choice page 87 by Aingeal, line 12 Charles – creates our unseen prompt …We have to juggle work, relationships, and interactions with other people at every moment. Alexa set the timer for 46 minutes … Starting now. That makes it 11:05 for the ending of my entry.
I am not a circus clown! And yet everywhere I encounter people’s expectations of me, demanding things of me that I am incapable of physically delivering or sometimes even responding to. Thus, I tend to slip away into various spins on reality that spring up spontaneously from … I don’t know where. I really don’t know where. Sometimes they are puns on the keyword in what my interlocutor just said, or any word that might generate a laugh, or failing a pun on a word or a laugh I will begin talking about the deeper meaning behind whatever the conversation might seem to be leading to. Sometimes I focus directly on what is being said and respond to that theme with precision, and sometimes just the opposite springs to the fore and I go blurry, foggy, atonal, or like a tail-wagging dog and just walk away. Perhaps everyone is like that and just hides it from everyone, including themselves.
I spent a lot of my early years living with my mother’s mother and to some extent, I am her seventh child; thus, when she came to her years of raising me, she was very experienced with kids. All seven of us kids grew up to be honest, reasonable, ordinary citizens playing our role in society as was expected of us. I was always an outlier in the family and I was accepted as being what I was. I wasn’t encouraged to be different, just to be who I was. We were all treated that way, and perhaps we all felt that way and that we were all just who we were. We all felt that we were guests in our family environment and were treated as guests. We treated each other as welcome guests, honored guests. I never thought of it that way at the time, but when I look back on my youth that description seems to fit the way it was. I can’t remember my mother ever criticizing anything I did, nor praising anything either.
We had a family tradition of showing 35-millimeter color slides on a projector at family gatherings, like Christmas. It was fun! We all laughed a lot at the funny pictures we had created and enjoyed each other’s company, but I don’t remember any criticism or praise either. We were just living, enjoying what we did and doing what we felt was right.
Being on a farm we all worked together a lot out in the fields or sometimes in the house. An example of that was one Christmas morning about 1965 when we were all squeezing into my grandparent’s house in Madras, Oregon. On Christmas morning when everyone was washed up and dressed, but before breakfast, my Grandma said, “Clean up time,” or something like that, and all her kids started doing house chores, and the grandkids, myself included, jumped right in and started cleaning up the house. Instantly, there were a dozen people running around, including the three-year-olds and the eighty-year-olds, cleaning up the house. It was great fun and with so many of us working we were done in a few minutes and sat down to breakfast.
I suppose it was my grandmother who instilled that work/play behavior into all her kids and they into their kids too. That we have to juggle work, relationships, and interactions with other people at every moment was never explicitly said to anyone of us. But all of those things were done with a feeling of joy. It wasn’t an obligation to do things, it was a joy. That way of living was created by my grandmother in her kids and working was as easy as laughing.
Thank you. Thank you, Bertha Aspinall Eidemiller! Thank you. Thank you for creating such a wonderful family.