As a youth I must confess that I was obnoxious in my own way. I thought the way I treated people was funny and informative to them of their unique qualities. However, they responded often by calling me sarcastic. What I thought of as funny, they no doubt thought of as mean. I don’t think I was ever a physical bully, but looking back at those times from a more mature point of view, what I did wasn’t comedy to them but verbal bullying.
My bullying was done largely through using the alternative meanings of words in a twisted way, which to me was often hilarious. I don’t know why, but even as a kid I had a large vocabulary of words, and the alternate meanings of words, in my ready speaking patterns. Whenever I came across a Readers Digest vocabulary test I would always ace it, even in high school. That isn’t a deep vocabulary test, but for a fifteen-year-old, I suppose it means something. The point is that I knew lots of words and their alternate meanings.
As the years rolled by, and there have been many of them, I slowly grew out of that punny habit, much to the relief of my friends, no doubt. There is a positive side to that horrid habit, and that is an increased awareness of other people’s thoughts, feelings, and needs. But, even as a youth I couldn’t have been all that obnoxious, because some truly wonderful and beautiful young women found me acceptable, and some really smart ones chose me for their multi-year companion.
All of this pre-ramble brings me to my current point: I have recently been simultaneously exploring the negative side of things I had developed as an adolescent, and the positive ones too of my more mature years; it is an exploration of human development to maturity. That current exploration has developed into an easily taught method for increasing a person’s potential for mature growth, and simultaneously a method for pulling out of negative emotional states. There’s no good reason why a perfectly happy person living in an adolescent personality mode should try to move into an adult lifestyle, if when they do try those more mature habits they quickly end up in an unpleasant emotional state.
Why would an adolescent who is finally getting his life to where he feels really good, give that up for an adult condition of “work and love”? Work just means giving up one’s time, energy, and liberty, and responsible love means being kind to other people at an expense to oneself. That’s counter-productive for an adolescent.
Moving into more mature states of development means voluntarily taking risks.