Some say that giving attention and love to everyone can be done by smiling at them in a spontaneous appreciative way. I opine that everyone is capable of receiving love if it’s given in the right way. But what is the way of giving love so that it can be received? If the other person is in a desperate state of mind they may not be capable of receiving a positive input, because their mind is filled with suspicion and hate, and a smile is seen as a deception.
For anyone to receive love they must be in a safe state of mind, so our problem is to assure them that we mean them no harm. The standard human way to do this is with a smile, but even Shakespeare, hundreds of years ago, warned of smiling men, and of smiling Greeks bearing gifts. A suspicious person may be unwilling to receive any form of love, because their experience has been that letting down their guard pulls suffering into being.
Perhaps there is something to be learned from dogs and their natural “calming signals” that they send to each other. There may be similar graphics showing human calming signals used as guides for actors, but the dog signals are not overlain with human language and culture and are easier to understand. There is good reason to be suspicious of humans, because there is a huge media industry filled with thousands of actors whose occupation is to convincingly portray emotions to fit a pre-planned manipulation of the other person’s emotions.
How can we know when human calming signals would be legitimate? The human actor’s signals could be practiced to include: a relaxed looking away, after making a brief eye contact to establish communication channel; blinking and moving back slightly; dropping chin slightly with a slight smile; moving slightly to the side while talking and then gently back toward the opposite side. Perhaps there is overlap with dog calming behaviors such as — licking the air, turning the head or body away, muzzle nudging, yawning to the side, pawing the ground, narrow eyes in simulated sleepiness, tactile contact on the side, play position with front elbows on the ground and butt high, approaching in a curve toward tail, sniffing butt, relaxed slow moving, sitting down and looking away, moving between, bumping, shaking off water twisting movement.
The idea here is to state objectively some subjectively mediated physical actions that are indicators of legitimate inner emotions. If we can display these toward people who have difficulties in being friendly it might be possible to expose to them that they might be attracted to, that would be helpful to them. But it is important to give people their private space, and often people will give clear signals that they want to be left alone. Some people will say, “Let them frog kick in their own pond slime.” I like to get at the root causes of human suffering and cut the cycle short, and that is best done by convincing young adults to avoid inflicting Adverse Childhood Experiences and promote Positive Childhood Experiences.
Give the next generation a positive base to build their lives upon.