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Epictetus (55-135 CE) Enchiridion
A manual for living a contented life
Rendered by Charles Scamahorn (1935- ) 2014

Paragraph 43

Every problem can be approached in two ways: one which will aggravate it and make it worse, and one which will move toward a comfortable resolution. If your friend acts unjustly toward you, don’t grab the annoyance by the terms that resulted in the injustice, but choose the personal view that he is your friend and you have always solved your differences. Then approach the problem from a place of common interest.


Little differences often flare up among friends over trivialities, and if these are approached from the contentious point of the conversation something of no significance may become a major problem. The best way to eliminate these types of problems is not to let them grow to significance. That is done by getting on the other side of the issue, where your common interests are more important than some point of an argument.