Today was one of exhaustion for me. I participated in a business-style conference call on video with a group of people for several hours. My head got hot after a while, from brain friction. There was so much to pay attention to, and so many different things that were in the world of nebulous conjecture and discussion and conflict that I was very confused and troubled. If this is the life of the corporate boardroom I have lived a life of unearned ease, because it just didn’t happen to me … ever. I am now so happy about that! It wasn’t a bullet dodged, in that I didn’t make the slightest effort to do any dodging; I just wasn’t interested in the types of things being discussed in those venues, and so I was never there. Today was different, and I was there. Whew! I did make some suggestions which were heard, and it isn’t like I didn’t have any voice, but the effort to say anything was so tiring, and the progress seemingly so slight. The people were all quite friendly, and I do like all of them, but for one such as myself, who values personal freedom, giving into the needed suppression of personal desires for the needs of the group’s progress is painful. It appears the US Congress spends trillions of dollars making decisions in what is probably a very similar setting.

After a couple of hours at home recuperating, and it was recuperating, I headed out to a local improv group where we played improvised acting games. It was similar to Saturday Night Live, or Steven Colbert in his interviews, in that it flowed very fast and was an attempt to dig deeper into our personal creative abilities. This is something that is a developed skill, but it also requires a substantial dollop of personal freedom to drop one’s normal self and just be someone or something else. To some degree it is not thinking but just reacting. However, it is reacting within some constraints, and the basic one is going along with whatever the instantaneous game happens to be at the moment. Therefore, it is a habitual type of response. One of the keys to this type of acting is the, “Yes … and …” response. One of the games tonight was to literally begin your response to the other person’s statement with the very words, “Yes … And …”. Those words then led into a presentation of a derivative idea from what the other person just said. Then the players would begin their response with, “Yes … And …”. This would go on for a while and generally developed into a story which soon became self-creating and self-sustaining. The individuals attempted to speak with utmost confidence about their subjects, and called each other by personal names, made up on the instant as part of their dialogue, and invented personal relationships also out of instantaneous fantasy. And so on. It was a liberating kind of adult fun.

Comparing these two groups is curious because the one was pure fantasy and seemed to make sense, and the other was serious business and made very little sense. I have no idea which was which.