Most people thinks of me as a basically cheerful person and occasionally tell me so, but Memorial Day is always troublesome for me and today was no exception. The reason is simple enough – Memorial Day makes me remember my relatives and friends who have died. That is sad because that makes me remember them and how I can no longer enjoy their personalities and presence nor do they have the chance to participate in the wonderful world that now exists.
I like to say, “I chose my relatives carefully because they were all such fine people.” Without exception they were honest, hard-working, fair to those around them and perhaps most difficult for them, they were good to me. Now, I wasn’t always the best that I could have been, and occasionally I know I was a great disappointment, and yet I was never criminal and only rarely even slightly outside of propriety. Most people on the highway for example consider me a rolling speed-bump and therefore an annoyance but that’s because they are willfully violating the law and are annoyed at someone who isn’t; I do try and make it easy for them to speed on by.
Memorial Day makes me think about those things I should have done and didn’t do and those things I did and shouldn’t have done. I can think of a few times were I uttered a single word in the middle of an extended discourse which angered people for decades. On the other hand I know of single words in the middle of an otherwise mild discourse which set people on a better path, and I know this to be true because years later they told me so.
Perhaps, this blog with its stated purpose, to help people life-hack their way to a more contented future is a sublimated form of repayment for guilt felt for my past imperfections. The thought that I am helping people totally unknown to me makes me feel a little happy on this day of remembrance.