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A good relationship starts with absolute honesty on the first date. That cannot be emphasized enough, because anything that is said or done on this first meeting will be with you, and will affect your relationship to the very end. If you fake anything about yourself that lie will probably be believed by the other person, and they will believe that you are that way. The bigger the lie the harder it will be to match up to that person you pretended to be.

A new relationship is like what a baby bird first sees moving when it comes out of the egg, and it imprints forevermore on the first moving thing it sees. It makes that into its mother, and follows her every move. With humans it probably isn’t that extreme of an imprinting, but almost, and if you make the assumption that it is you will be a lot better off.

The best opportunity of your life, to improve your future life, is while the first date with a potential partner is still in progress. Because, if you are completely honest in your presentation of yourself, you can relax, and simply be yourself for the rest of your life. If you lie or cheat any way, and present yourself as something which you are not you will be forever cursed with subtle expectations to behave in some ways that are not really you. The funny thing about this is that fake self which you present very probably isn’t really what the other person really wants, and they would prefer someone who is a lot more like what your real self is like, because your real self isn’t phony. Your real self is just you. But, if you present a distorted self on the first meeting that is what will be expected of you from then on. Your naturally good self will be disdained, and never really be loved even though the other person might actually like your real person better if you had presented it from the beginning. But, after this first date there is this gnawing expectation which was imprinted at that very brief beginning moment which can never be wholly eliminated. Try as you might you can never truly be yourself and so you can never be truly happy. So the simple rule is: Be yourself on the first date.

This blog is an update on my earlier one, How to pick up women.