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That silly hare sometimes named Achilles has pursued Zeno’s unnamed but wily tortoise for over two thousand years now and most philosophers are still flummoxed as to why he hasn’t caught up?! Every university in the world has a philosophy department which means that there must be thousands of professional philosophers in this world being paid professorial salaries. This is the absurdity of it all. Why is the public squandering so much money on this obvious nonsense?

The average person in the public might think these professional people wouldn’t waste any more time on such a question but – NO. I have attended several valedictory lectures for departing philosophy professors and they always, in jest they claim, make some profound proclamation about Zeno’s paradoxes.  His paradoxes are not dead but very much alive. And these brilliant modern folks are still bewildered. And I wonder why it always falls on my poor undereducated intellect to solve their problems when I merely observe the obvious way of getting out of their self imposed box. Perhaps, I do deserve my superhero cape because, I am Apophenio! I see what others don’t! — Ah-Haaa !!!

The usual persentation of  Zeno’s paradox is — In a race to the finish line a rabbit which is postulated to start off after a tortoise has started can never catch the tortoise  because to do so he must go half way toward the tortoise but he can’t do that without first going the first half way and yet again half way to that position, which goes on forever ad infinitum. For these philosophers it means the rabbit is stuck, can’t even get started in the pursuit. He is frozen in time. They freely admit it is a farcical problem but they also admit that they can’t shake themselves free of it. But, for me in my Apophenio guise, it is very easy to do; I merely start from the other end.

I propose — The rabbit has just caught up with the tortoise but to do that he must first have come half way from his earlier point. But before he did that he must first have come half way from some earlier point and so on ad infinitum just as in the problem above. It is exactly the same problem but stated from the ending point rather than the starting point. Here’s the difference. Because the rabbit has caught up with the tortoise he obviously had to cover half the distance and done so repeatedly or he couldn’t have caught up and because he has caught up it is absurd to say he couldn’t have come half way and equally absurd to say he couldn’t even get started because he was frozen in time. Thus, in the real world, it becomes easy for rabbits to catch up with tortoises, easy for things to get started and come to conclusions and easy for the world we live in to proceed in the ways we normally perceive it to do.

Perhaps philosophers would do more good for the world by shoveling rabbit pellets. If it tastes like rabbit poop it probably is rabbit poop.

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